Why: To stop the spawn of future stupid generations.
Contact: Confront Heather with any questions or comments.
I see the entire cross-section of life every day. I see a great deal of very intelligence-challenged individuals. Italics = me. in a british accent.
"We don't want our picture taken."
"Well, m'lord, we have to take a photograph of everyone who walks in the door. If you could just step this way..."
"That's what they said on the cruise, and it was optional."
"This isn't a cruise m'lord. Please step forward."
"...Can we make obscene gestures to the camera?"
"Do whatever you like, as long as you're in a photo."
"The photo's just a gimick."
"Pardon me, m'lady? We take everyone's photo as they walk in."
"We're used car salesmen. We know all about gimicks. Where should we wait?"
"Yes m'lord, and you recieve not one, but five photographs for those mere twenty dollars!"
"It's a nice picture, but I don't want to pay twenty dollars."
"And I don't want to be working right now. We all can't get what we want, can we?"
"Do you have change for a 50?"
"That's not us.
"Alright then m'lady, these are your stunt doubles."
"And why would we buy their picture?"
"Well, they could pass for you in a crowd. Throw the police off or something."
"We're not buying the damn pictures!"
"Might your stunt doubles want to buy the photos then?"
"How may I be of service, my lord?"
"Get me a beer!"
"I regret to inform you I sell photographs, not alcoholic beverages."
"Can you get me a beer anyway?"
"As I am not of age, I cannot legally touch a beer for you, m'lord. I do have your photographs..."
"So you're a minor, huh?" *wink*
"Please, m'lord."
"How about ten?"
"Twenty sounded better."
"Fifteen and you can have my soup?"
"Twenty now. When I take your soup, I'll give you five back."
"Can I have your chicken, m'lady?"
"No, it's my chicken."
"Then no, they're my photos!"
"That's not us."
"What do you mean it's not you?"
"What, do all black people look alike to you or something?!"
"No, its just that..."
"Yeah, exactly. Get the hell out."
(when I brought his pictures around, he did buy them)
"Jesus! You people hit us coming and going! There's no time to even breathe!"
"You recieve two 6 by 8's, a double-sided keychain an--"
"You don't even give us time to watch the show!! I don't want the damn photos."
"The show hasn't really started yet m'lady..."
"Get the fuck away from me!!"
"Yeah, my girlfriend wants it. I already paid for it."
"You what?"
"I gave my credit card to some other lady..."
(we apparently had his credit card in the back, but he wasn't happy when I came back and wanted him to sign the receipt.)
"I'll buy them if you kiss me."
"Pardon me, my lord?"
"I'll buy the pictures if you kiss me."
"...You're missing out on some wonderful photographs!"
"No kiss?"
"Do you realize I spent $250 for my friends and I to eat here tonight?"
"So what's another twenty?"
"Do I look like I'm made out of money or something?"
"Well you did spend $250 to eat here tonight."
"The Royal John is out the last door, and on the far wall to the right of the green screen."
"Can I get someone to show me the way?"
"It's really not that difficult..."
"Will you walk me there?"
"Will you buy your photographs?"
(yes, and with a $5 tip. man, i NEVER get tips)
"Yes my lord, twenty for five photographs."
"I'll give you my phone number."
"I'd rather have the twenty dollars."
"My number's worth fifty. Do you get hit on a lot?"
"Every three and a half minutes."
"I don't want them. How abouts you keep them as a souvenir of my visit to Medeival Times?"
"We don't want them. Are you embarassed to work here?"
"Only when dealing with people like you."